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The Boolean Life
Things are either True or False. Or not.
Have you annoyed your developers this year?
By Olibe.nu

Have you annoyed your developers this year? It's not too late! Here are a few tips.


Set up a meeting!

You’ve been preparing that Power Point slide for a while so why shouldn't it be compulsory? The best ones are the meetings you call to decide when to call the next meeting. Very exciting stuff. Or better yet, call a meeting to decide coding standards or to suggest features for the new app planned for next year. Yeah, forget about using tools like Git for stuff like that. At least, until someone raises it at the next meeting.



Fail to ‘get’ their jokes.

Don't even do it in the cute laughable way of a Dilbertan manager. Fumble even the easiest so as to deny them any chance of a boss who at least tries. When next you see one of them inspired and in the zone, interrupt and ask what the following means: There are only 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.



Treat them as regular users.

Why not? Save a little money by having them design your GUIs. Resist all evidence that shows that it is too late to save developers. Forget that any one who has written a ‘hello world’ in any language is not a regular user. Ask them to design something a regular user would use. And when they fail, set up a meeting to tell them it's their fault.



Always use ‘just’ and ‘only’.

In need of some context? Tell them, the documentation needs ‘just’ one more page. The web team need add ‘only’ multilingual support. Hell, why do they always drag their feet? Damn lazy developers!


Ran out of ideas?

Fiddle with the the internet connection. The server OS too. Or license a new IDE as the year closes. You could ban their toys (especially the duck).


There isn’t really much use giving you the full list. We wouldn't want them to develop a tolerance, would we?